My brain is a scribble.

Lawd. Life post college is neither fun or exciting. It is boring. I am bored. I never go anywhere, all my friends are not American (if you went to college in New Jersey, you wouldn't want your friends to be American either) and most of them have gone back to their respective countries. I have lady-dates with my bff from way back about once a week, but we're both so horrible at planning things that they fall through sometimes. I NEED TO GET BACK ON MY GAME.

Ghost story has been compleeeeted! It's on Wattpad, it's part of their yearly awards so voting for me or leaving comments would be all kinds of sweet tits. Here it is: Back For You (Watty Awards 2012)

BUT now that I'm done with that, I've started something that's complicated. I've never had this much trouble constructing an outline before. My process has been something like this:

"Okay first A happens, then we move on to B, then C...
Okay insert subplot Q in between A and B
Switch points R and P...
*90 hours later*
WHY IS THERE NO PAPER LEFT WHY DO THE GODS PUNISH ME SO?!"

Because apparently I can't be one of those creatives whose brains work linearly. Give a crayon to a 3 year old and tell him to go nuts. The resulting pattern is pretty much how my brain works. Go fig.

In other news, picking season is upon us once again! So this happened: 

He was a good sport about it, though. He doesn't even like strawberries. More for me. #kanyeshrug
Also, I love how all of a sudden I'm seeing pilates studios popping up in my town. Where were all of you 6-7 months ago?! I can't even, too little too late, guys. ]:< Maybe in a few months, but I'm too used to going at it on my own. Pssh. Charging my $70 per session for something that I literally do in my living room for free. How 'bout no.

The Robe of Depression.

Yeah. That freaking thing. ^^^^^

These kinds of commercials annoy me. The depression robe, the blob of sadness, all that jazz. Let me just say that almost everyone deals with SERIOUS depression at some point in their life, and it's not a comfy robe, and it's not an adorable blob with a cowlick. Who in the actual fuck is coming up with these mascots?

Now, before I get accused of being butthurt, or someone calls the WAAHMbulance, let me say that I know it's not that serious. I get that they're just commercials, need to lure people in in order to sell their product and sometimes that's all it takes. But it makes me wonder—if they were going for reality, what would the mascots be? A few thoughts:
 -a giant rusty anchor.
-a ball and chain
-hand shackles, along those same lines.

JUST TOSSIN' EM OUT THERE. I'm looking at you, pharmaceutical marketing firms. Wink wink, nudge nudge. Raw reality, that's where it's at! At least, that's what the "masterminds" behind the shitshows known as The Jersey Shore and The Bachelor/ette want us to think, lololol. I miss The Real World and Road Rules, circa 1996-2002. ]:

Kidz Bop # 125,901,384,510,398

Thanks, but no thanks. Seriously, this is what I get for being a woman-child and watching Nickelodeon. These commercials are on every 7 minutes and there's a new CD every week. Does anyone even buy these for their children? Half the songs are originally recorded by children anyway (I see you, Bieblena Jomez), only to become increasingly whiny when recorded by children with no vocal coaches. Yikes. My kids will get whatever they're mature enough to handle—which, since they'll belong to me, let's not anticipate that bar being set too high. Just saying.

Back from vacation! I must say, despite the huge swollen welt (stye, very sexy, please envy me) on my eye that made it look like my boyfriend BEAT me, Jamaica sucking, and me getting food poisoning on the last day, it was amazing.

Why did Jamaica suck? Tourism is their biggest industry, and as a result, a lot of the people are incredibly rude about getting you to buy their shit. Admittedly I got nasty right back at them. If I didn't want a ride into town 12 seconds ago, what the hell makes you think I want one NOW after you FOLLOWED ME DOWN THE STREET yelling at me telling me to get in your van? I'm on vacation, leave me alone, lol. Not to mention they think all tourists are stupid or something, and the second they realize you're not falling for their spiel they get nasty with you, lol. Stay classy, bro. Boyfriend and I pretended we didn't speak English. "EXCUSE ME. EXCUSE ME. MISS. MISS." "Quoi? *shrugs and walks away*"

However, if you find yourself in Jamaica, I'd recommend hitting up the Dunns River Falls (be sure to pretend you don't speak English, they'll harass you there, too. I mean literally DEMANDING tips, which they're not supposed to do, making them sound mandatory. They are never mandatory THAT'S WHY THEY'RE CALLED TIPS. DO NOT LISTEN) and then leave. Legit. I wasn't impressed with anything else but the falls were GORGEOUS! Hooraaaay!

 You get to climb this. :D Yes, as the water is rushing down in the opposite direction. Such a rush! Me gusta.

Yeah. Jamaica pissed us off. Grand Cayman, the Bahamas and Mexico were fab, though! Snorkeling at a sunken ship, pretty much completed my life. :D

Rather glad to be back, though. It was nice to dive back into editing and writing, though. I got a chapter of Back for You completed and I came back to a nice piece to take care of from one of my regular writers. Definitely a fun edit! Took a bit of extra time being laid up in bed with my stomach and intestinal region on fire/wanting to be on the outside of me, but getting back into normalcy was pleasant. Vacations are good, but I have a routine. Doing too much nothing makes me fidgety and causes me to feel like a waste of organs. :D I'm not alone, right?

(Shut up, Kate.) Fine. ]:<